I am genuinely shocked that I remembered my password for this site...really, I am.
When did I last log onto here? Before the Christmas holidays, surely.
I dunno, haven't had a lot to say for a while. Well, a lot has been happening, I think I just can't be bothered typing. God I'm lazy.
Well, I just paused here for a second, to go and have dinner. And now I'm back, I don't have the urge to blog anymore.
Funny how that happens....
Anyway...yeah.
Back to nothingness.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Monday, November 9, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Epiphany..
I just realised how long it has been since I last blogged. I've gone from this insignifant, annoying website being my life, to not wanting anything to do with it at all. I haven't even thought about looking at my friend's blogs for at least a week now. Why? I don't know. It's not that my life is just so perfect that I have nothing to rant about. It's not that I'm so miserable that I can't even bring myself to write it down. It's not that I don't care what's going on with my friends.
It's just, become nothing to me. Pointless, time consuming, and unnecessary.
Frankly, I had just decided I had better things to do than ramble about my life on the internet. Who is annoying me this week, what I feel at that very moment. Hoping that someone will read it and feel sorry for me, or pay attention to me.
Though, I do miss it. This is where I came to let myself go, to write down what I needed to, and to make myself feel better. To be able to read it all later on, and try to understand exactly what I was feeling that time, though I never will.
For a while, I haven't been ranting to much on the internet for others to read. I've been ranting in private. Taking it out on myself, or whoever I happen to be talking to at that moment.
I've decided that was a really stupid idea. I realised that last night when I was fighting with my 'significant other' because I hadn't talked to them about what was bothering me, and just ignored them all together.
Relationship suicide.
So here I am again. I hope you didn't miss me too much.
I have just as much goss as always, though, I don't think all of it needs to go up here anymore. Maybe just the not-so-important stuff.
One not-so-important thing involves my attitude towards school and my future. I had a kind of epiphany the other night while I was laying in bed flicking through one of my brother's aircraft magazines.
My dream, is to be a pilot. It's just how I've always seen myself. I know I would be good at it, I know I would love it, I know it's what would be the perfect job for me. The freedom, the control, the appreciation, the honour, the concentration. I can see myself sitting in the cockpit, flying a plane, and knowing that I have done the right thing with my life.
Before that night, I had always seen myself as being a pilot. But I'd never understood the amount of effort and determination that actually required.
So there I was in bed, thinking about my future, and how I don't want to struggle or be miserable, or be regretting my childhood. And I researched the one thing that might be able to save me.
ADFA.
Australian Defence Force Academy.
I can go there, and train to be a fighter jet pilot. I get the training I need, I get the discipline that my life needs, I learn so much that I will never struggle with anything. And afer 6 or 7 years, I am free to do whatever I want, knowing that I worked hard to get there.
And I plan to work so hard, that when I finally have this pilot license, and when I finally work for QUANTAS, and when I'm sitting there with my Captain's badge, I will know that I've done the right thing with my life, and I won't regret anything.
I'm not stopping until I succeed.
Mitch made it to the 8th interview and gave up. That won't be me. I want it, I am willing to work for it. I will try, and try and try again until they accept me.
Well, at least, that's what I want for now.
Who knows what tomorrow may bring...
Another not-so-important thing.
I really have to pee.
It's just, become nothing to me. Pointless, time consuming, and unnecessary.
Frankly, I had just decided I had better things to do than ramble about my life on the internet. Who is annoying me this week, what I feel at that very moment. Hoping that someone will read it and feel sorry for me, or pay attention to me.
Though, I do miss it. This is where I came to let myself go, to write down what I needed to, and to make myself feel better. To be able to read it all later on, and try to understand exactly what I was feeling that time, though I never will.
For a while, I haven't been ranting to much on the internet for others to read. I've been ranting in private. Taking it out on myself, or whoever I happen to be talking to at that moment.
I've decided that was a really stupid idea. I realised that last night when I was fighting with my 'significant other' because I hadn't talked to them about what was bothering me, and just ignored them all together.
Relationship suicide.
So here I am again. I hope you didn't miss me too much.
I have just as much goss as always, though, I don't think all of it needs to go up here anymore. Maybe just the not-so-important stuff.
One not-so-important thing involves my attitude towards school and my future. I had a kind of epiphany the other night while I was laying in bed flicking through one of my brother's aircraft magazines.
My dream, is to be a pilot. It's just how I've always seen myself. I know I would be good at it, I know I would love it, I know it's what would be the perfect job for me. The freedom, the control, the appreciation, the honour, the concentration. I can see myself sitting in the cockpit, flying a plane, and knowing that I have done the right thing with my life.
Before that night, I had always seen myself as being a pilot. But I'd never understood the amount of effort and determination that actually required.
So there I was in bed, thinking about my future, and how I don't want to struggle or be miserable, or be regretting my childhood. And I researched the one thing that might be able to save me.
ADFA.
Australian Defence Force Academy.
I can go there, and train to be a fighter jet pilot. I get the training I need, I get the discipline that my life needs, I learn so much that I will never struggle with anything. And afer 6 or 7 years, I am free to do whatever I want, knowing that I worked hard to get there.
And I plan to work so hard, that when I finally have this pilot license, and when I finally work for QUANTAS, and when I'm sitting there with my Captain's badge, I will know that I've done the right thing with my life, and I won't regret anything.
I'm not stopping until I succeed.
Mitch made it to the 8th interview and gave up. That won't be me. I want it, I am willing to work for it. I will try, and try and try again until they accept me.
Well, at least, that's what I want for now.
Who knows what tomorrow may bring...
Another not-so-important thing.
I really have to pee.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Procrastination.
Of the serious kind.
It's our weekly admin lesson, I should be doing physics, considering it's due next period and I am yet to actually start it.
But hey, I can wing it.
I think.
I hope.
Maybe not.
.....I should go...
It's our weekly admin lesson, I should be doing physics, considering it's due next period and I am yet to actually start it.
But hey, I can wing it.
I think.
I hope.
Maybe not.
.....I should go...
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Friday =)
My weekend started with a big, loud BANG!
The bang of excitement. The bang of 4 girls tripping and falling down the stairs. The bang of the shower door as we realised he was in the shower. The bang of our door when they walked past while we were getting dressed. The bang of my ass as I hit the floor after tripping over a permanent marker.
Needless to say, Friday night was exactly what I needed.
Ashy Ray, Me, and Ally.
I can't describe really how much fun I had that night. All I know, is even though Ash and I weren't really all that keen, I'm so happy Sally dragged us along.
So happy.
Talking my mum into letting me sleep over at Ash's on Friday night, convincing Megan at work that I really was too sick to work the next morning.
Convincing Mitch and Jordan to bring us some alcohol...
Wearing one of Sally's beach shirts as a dress over my bikinis. Getting on stage and winning a 'bootie shaking' contest
.
Getting grinded on...not by any males....but by a female.
Having my ass pinched too the point where I lost count. Slipping on a permanent marker and flying into a group of happy dancers. Signing 'lick' across as many chests as I could find, including many of the boys.
Walking outside to find Mitch and Jordan standing under the light post like they said they would. Trying to find their car, only to be told they had stolen a ute to get to the dance for me.
Walking back to meet Lianna with her bags, Mitchell carrying 3 bags which included Passion Pop, Goon Sacks, all that cheap stuff.
Walking past the security guards trying not to make eye contact. Sneaking the bags into our overnight stuff without Ally's mum seeing.
Lianna diving on top of the bags as Ally's mum attempts to 'help' us carry our stuff. The clash of the bottles as she walks towards the car.
The vodka shots at Ash's house. Me sculling half a bottle of red wine because the others wanted to know what it tasted like. Mixing Passion Pop and orange juice into a drink that tasted like SEX.
Hearing a noise outside and sending her puppy out to investigate incase it was a robber wanting our drinks...
Attempting to bake cookies using Passion Pop as a subsitute for all the ingredients. My head feeling so heavy I couldn't get off the floor. Toby humping my face and hooking up with me, while the others laughed because I couldn't stand up. Prank calling anyone we could think of. Wanting to sneak out, but no one wanting to be the 'designated walker home' for us all.
Going to bed in Ash's room, sleeping on the floor in a pile of clothes. Waking up realising we had left a fair bit of evidence down stairs. Walking into the living room, trying to figure out exactly what happened that night. Because as it turns out, apparently we didn't like the way the furniture was set out, so we decided to rearrange the couches.
No one really remembering a whole lot about that night.
Scrubbing so hard to get the 'lick' off our boobs, only to find that it doesn't exactly come off.
Going to Ash's primary school fate, trying to cover out chests as much as possible. Getting sunburnt within the first hour. Walking past the police stance, feeling guilty, my bag still had both full and empty bottles.
Having a craving for water and hot chips, so that's what we spent all our money on.
Getting picked up at 2pm, thinking I could go home and sleep. Instead, being taken straight to Stafford City for grocery shopping. Looking like a whore because I hadn't taken my make up off, with scruffy hair, struggling to walk properly, headache. Trying to avoid work because I clearly hadn't been sick the night before. Worrying because my dad had thrown my bag into the boot, even though he had failed to hear the crash of the bottles against each other.
Getting home later to shower and clean myself. And hide my leftovers.
Ash has the rest at her house.
Apparently, eyes being bigger than your stomach goes for more than just foo
d.
Laughing at the fact that no one knew how hungover I was.
Crashing and getting the shits at everyone later that night. Falling asleep later than I would have hoped, and being dragged out of bed early Sunday morning.
Having to work, but being in the best mood once I was there. Being told that the new kid Matt likes me, and realising how obvious that was, and how slow I was. Seeing his face light up when I spoke to him, even though it was usually because I was paying him out.
Being the stereotypical 'young, blonde chick in Home Entertainment' who didn't know what she was doing for the first hour I was there. Because I actually didn't know what the hell I was doing. Everythig had changed since I was last there.
Working out the back with Fatty, organising a party at my house.
Skipping around, signing my contract finally. Getting picked up, accidently mentioning that I had seen Mitch on Friday night. Covering it up by saying it was because he was there to pick up a friend.
Staying up late watching movies.
Going for a 5 hour walk to a park with my beautiful girl. Getting her mum to drop me down the street from my house before my mum got home and realised I'd been gone all day.
Going over Friday night, every time, I remember something different about that night.
Yes, this weekend was exactly what I needed.
The bang of excitement. The bang of 4 girls tripping and falling down the stairs. The bang of the shower door as we realised he was in the shower. The bang of our door when they walked past while we were getting dressed. The bang of my ass as I hit the floor after tripping over a permanent marker.
Needless to say, Friday night was exactly what I needed.
Ashy Ray, Me, and Ally.
I can't describe really how much fun I had that night. All I know, is even though Ash and I weren't really all that keen, I'm so happy Sally dragged us along.
So happy.
Talking my mum into letting me sleep over at Ash's on Friday night, convincing Megan at work that I really was too sick to work the next morning.
Convincing Mitch and Jordan to bring us some alcohol...
Wearing one of Sally's beach shirts as a dress over my bikinis. Getting on stage and winning a 'bootie shaking' contest
.Getting grinded on...not by any males....but by a female.
Having my ass pinched too the point where I lost count. Slipping on a permanent marker and flying into a group of happy dancers. Signing 'lick' across as many chests as I could find, including many of the boys.
Walking outside to find Mitch and Jordan standing under the light post like they said they would. Trying to find their car, only to be told they had stolen a ute to get to the dance for me.
Walking back to meet Lianna with her bags, Mitchell carrying 3 bags which included Passion Pop, Goon Sacks, all that cheap stuff.
Walking past the security guards trying not to make eye contact. Sneaking the bags into our overnight stuff without Ally's mum seeing.
Lianna diving on top of the bags as Ally's mum attempts to 'help' us carry our stuff. The clash of the bottles as she walks towards the car.
The vodka shots at Ash's house. Me sculling half a bottle of red wine because the others wanted to know what it tasted like. Mixing Passion Pop and orange juice into a drink that tasted like SEX.
Hearing a noise outside and sending her puppy out to investigate incase it was a robber wanting our drinks...
Attempting to bake cookies using Passion Pop as a subsitute for all the ingredients. My head feeling so heavy I couldn't get off the floor. Toby humping my face and hooking up with me, while the others laughed because I couldn't stand up. Prank calling anyone we could think of. Wanting to sneak out, but no one wanting to be the 'designated walker home' for us all.
Going to bed in Ash's room, sleeping on the floor in a pile of clothes. Waking up realising we had left a fair bit of evidence down stairs. Walking into the living room, trying to figure out exactly what happened that night. Because as it turns out, apparently we didn't like the way the furniture was set out, so we decided to rearrange the couches.
No one really remembering a whole lot about that night.
Scrubbing so hard to get the 'lick' off our boobs, only to find that it doesn't exactly come off.
Going to Ash's primary school fate, trying to cover out chests as much as possible. Getting sunburnt within the first hour. Walking past the police stance, feeling guilty, my bag still had both full and empty bottles.
Having a craving for water and hot chips, so that's what we spent all our money on.
Getting picked up at 2pm, thinking I could go home and sleep. Instead, being taken straight to Stafford City for grocery shopping. Looking like a whore because I hadn't taken my make up off, with scruffy hair, struggling to walk properly, headache. Trying to avoid work because I clearly hadn't been sick the night before. Worrying because my dad had thrown my bag into the boot, even though he had failed to hear the crash of the bottles against each other.
Getting home later to shower and clean myself. And hide my leftovers.
Ash has the rest at her house.
Apparently, eyes being bigger than your stomach goes for more than just foo
d.Laughing at the fact that no one knew how hungover I was.
Crashing and getting the shits at everyone later that night. Falling asleep later than I would have hoped, and being dragged out of bed early Sunday morning.
Having to work, but being in the best mood once I was there. Being told that the new kid Matt likes me, and realising how obvious that was, and how slow I was. Seeing his face light up when I spoke to him, even though it was usually because I was paying him out.
Being the stereotypical 'young, blonde chick in Home Entertainment' who didn't know what she was doing for the first hour I was there. Because I actually didn't know what the hell I was doing. Everythig had changed since I was last there.
Working out the back with Fatty, organising a party at my house.
Skipping around, signing my contract finally. Getting picked up, accidently mentioning that I had seen Mitch on Friday night. Covering it up by saying it was because he was there to pick up a friend.
Staying up late watching movies.
Going for a 5 hour walk to a park with my beautiful girl. Getting her mum to drop me down the street from my house before my mum got home and realised I'd been gone all day.
Going over Friday night, every time, I remember something different about that night.
Yes, this weekend was exactly what I needed.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
