Fading.

As teenagers, there comes a point when one has to really look at themselves, and decide who they are, and who they want to be.
Where they are, and where they want to go.

Everyone has dreams, and ambitions, and yeah, we all have a pretty fair idea about the kind of person we are, and all that jazz.
But have we wever really looked?
Have you ever looked at yourself the way someone else would, a friend, a stranger meeting you for the first time?
Have you ever thought about the kind of first impression that you're giving out? Or whether the things that you say really come out the way they sound in your head?
What about if someone starts to act differently around you. Have you ever thought that maybe it was you that changed, not the other person?
Cliche, maybe. But have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?

I did, not long ago. I took a good hard look at myself in the mirror. I was trying to figure myself out. Who am I, really?
I'm not smart. I'm not popular. I'm not a particularly hard worker. I'm not skinny. I'm not sporty. I'm not ambitious. I'm not a stunner. I sometimes take things too far. I'm not a very family-orientated person. I'm not good with crowds. I need to be constantly reassured that my friends like me. I have anxiety issues when I'm alone. I'm scared of falling asleep sometimes. I'm insecure about my apprearance. I'm not confident. I don't have leadership qualities. I'm scared that if I don't do exactly what people want, then I'll lose them as 'friends'. I question my whole purpose. I need people to like me. I can't stay in a relationship. I push people away by holding them too close. I change the way I look so people will notice me.
I looked so hard at myself, and I didn't see anything.

I'm empty.
I'm fading.