Woahh

I haven't blogged in 4 days...

I guess, there's not really much that I have to say.
Other than.
OMG SATURDAY IS GOING TO BE THE BEST DAY EVEER!!

Ok, if all goes well at least.

The main issue I'm having, is really whether people are going to feel...well....included.
There's so many from all over the place that are coming, I just hope they don't feel too awkward.

Of course, they're going to have at least one friend there, and like always, groups will form.
My main fear is that I don't want to be drifting from group to group.
Yes, they are all my friends, and I love them.
But honestly, there's only one group of people id like to spend the day with.
You know who you are.
You're my bestest friends, SBM.
And I don't want to make anyone feel excluded by sticking to one particular group.

So.... in essence.... I'm gonna make everyone be friends.
We'll play some trust games or something til everyone loves each other.

There's no need to rush.

I don't like being asked out not in person.
Seriously, if you like someone enough to want to actually go out with them, can you not take the extra time to ask them face to face.
I don't get this whole, cyber dating thing.

The way I see it, if someone feels more comfortable asking you out through text or whatever, they're clearly more comfortable with the whole cyber relationship, rather than actually being with you.

Then you have the technicality thing.
Technically, if someone was to ask me out through a text, then I am not at fault to dump them over myspace.

Habbooo

georgiηaaaaaaaa ...naked!:
i can totally imagine meeting them "hi georgina! *touches boob*"

georgiηaaaaaaaa ...naked!:
"Why did you only SAY touches boob?"

georgiηaaaaaaaa ...naked!:
"... ... *runs*"

georgiηaaaaaaaa ...naked!:
"YOU'RE STILL HERE"

madz. jump! bitch:
ROFL

madz. jump! bitch:
That'd be hilarious!

Tonight

I have to wake up in 6 hours.
THAT'S NOT ENOUGH SLEEP TIME FOR ME!
Maybe if Jayne wasn't so retarded and actually read my availability form, she would know that I can't work Sundays.
I have better things to do, like eat and sleep.

TONIGHT WAS MADDDD.
I'm all awake and icky feeling.
And there was this weird shit on my foot when I got home that wouldn't come off.
I got it in Narnia I guess.

Decisions.

People ask me why I am the way I am.
I find that the most ammusing question.
"Uhh, because my mum and dad reproduced to make me. And then I grew up."

I mean seriously, what kind of an answer do you expect?

Ok, so I get where they're coming from.
Looking back 4 years, it's just plain freaky. Or even better, look back 2 years, it's disturbing.
Half way through grade 9, that's when I remember noticing the change for the first time.

Anyone who knew me in primary school, all the way up to the end of grade 9. You all know how much of a coward I was. I had no self-confidence. Stuck to the rules. Dressed in long, pink dresses with frills along the bottom.
And if anyone can remember that, maybe you can remember how much I hated myself.
How unhappy I was with everything. How I wasn't a good public speaker, or I never had the guts to ever say something to someone. Or how people avoided me because I was 'geeky'.
How I was so withdrawn, it was, just......unnatural.

Then it was around the end of 2007 that I realised how much I hated myself, and wanted to change.
So I did.
The hair, the clothes, the attitude, the makeup.
I made it all new. A fresh start.
Turns out my 'fresh start' kinda started down the wrong path. But, by the time I realised, it was too late.

I'm not saying I'm happy now.
My ideas to make myself a better person, happier person, they kinda backfired.

It's funny how people treat you depending on how you look.
I never would have made so many friends if I hadn't changed my looks. I wouldn't feel so confident. I mean, Christ, guys never even spoke to me before I changed.
Now look at me.

And you'd think all this would make me happier.
YOU'D THINK.

But it doesn't. In a way, I miss the messed up, geeky little mouse that I used to be.
Becuase, that was ME.

I've gone from Maddie, to Madi.
And I don't know if I like it or not.

Funniest thing I've heard all day.

And I can't even post it on here.

It's too bad for all your innocent minds.
But LOL KRISTY.




So. What's the deal with airline food?

Hehehe. It's genius!

You never realise how much you want someone until they say no.
Once that word is out there, it's like the biggest turn on.

I love saying that word so much.

I can feel you, all around me.

Alright, so I'm really tired.
At least I think I am.
I keep yawning and crap, but I don't think I can sleep.

I was close to falling asleep before. In the sense that I had one of those semi-conscience daydream thingos.
Alanna knows what I mean.
And then I fell off a cliffe. Thus, completely throwing myself out of bed.

So now here we are.
You're reading this, hoping that I'll get to something interesting instead of just talking about how I think I might be tired.
And I'm trying to think of something interesting to rant about so that I don't sit here rambling on about why I think I'm tired.

Well, I do hate to dissapoint.




I like toast.

Just another pointless day.

I vowed that I would make the most of these holidays. Go out, have fun, do my maths assignment.

But instead I always seem to find myself staring blankly outside my windows at the world around me. Asking myself why it is that I never seem to go out there, and promising that I will tomorrow.
But tomorrow becomes the next day, and that becomes next week. And so on.

Though, I did manage to pry myself away from the Sims2 long enough to go for a run around the park a few times.
Only to get home completely pissed off because I was running through mud and figured if I stop now, I won't be back here for a while.
It didn't occur to me that the park is not the only place I can run.

Though running usually makes me feel relaxed and awake.
Two weeks without any physical work; eating chocolate for breakfast, then lunch, then dinner, and then just on the side as a treat. Well, that'll just kinda screw you round a bit.

And now, even as I scold myself for not doing anything productive these holidays, all I can think about it trying to get my divorced couple on the Sims to get back together.

I guess the only productive thing I'm doing these holidays is leaving a nice mark on my window from where my even breath tries to seek some form of freedom.

Egggiesss

My plan this year was to not eat any chocolate for Easter.
Ha, screw that!

Ok, so I was reading Lala's blog about Easter, and it got me thinking.
It got me thinking about how much I don't think, at all.
I don't think about the real meaning behind public holidays, or any ceremonial event.
My thoughts generally stop after I register that it is in fact, a free day.

Well, to start with, I really have no strong belief system.
I guess, you can't call me Athiest, but you can't call me anything else either.
Athiests don't believe in anything at all. No religion, no belief system in general.
Well I accept religions, I have strong feelings towards things.
I believe that when you die, there is an afterlife. What it is, I'm not sure of.
I believe that somewhere in the universe there is a higher being.
I believe that respecting everyones life choices is a necessity, accepting their religions, and taking ideas from their beliefs.
I guess, I form my own religion.
No, I don't believe in the bible. The stories, the ideas, the influences.
I believe in a God, not necessarily a God in the sense that many Christians believe in, but I believe that there is something of a higher power out there.
I don't believe, however, that this higher being created a Mesire and sent him to Earth.
I accept the Christian view on the world, and history, and I accept how they make their guide lines.
I do NOT however, agree with the no-sex-before-marriage rule.

I guess, I don't know what I believe in.
But that's probably because I never actually think about it.
One day, I decided that the bible sounded a bit iffy, so I converted.
I don't know what I converted to. Or why it was so sudden. Or why I was converting without a second thought.
But I did, and I called myself an Athiest.
But that's not what I am.
I don't know what it is that I am anymore.
And it's going to take a lot of V's and a cool night sitting outside to get me to finally figure it out.

You're never too old for an Easter egg hunt.

Game on!
*tackles Mitchell*

Easter is funnnnn.

I didn't feel the need to text anyone today and wish them a happy easter.
But that was mostly because I didn't wake up until around 11am.
So I'm sorry.
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!

You set my soul alight.

Why can't you see that?


I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for.
It's true.
Hurt them and I'll hurt your face.

Life is good.

Nanalae.

When you die from all this lack of sleep, and stress and whatnot.
......can I have your laptop?
And body.
Not forever, just for a few minutes.

Uninspired.

I need something to do.
I'm so, blegh.
Someone needs to entertain me.

Old enough to know, too young to care.

Quote of my life.

Haha, it's so true.
"What were you thinking??"
"I'm a teenager, I don't think."

I hate having nothing to do, I just eat all day.
Fuck I'm healthy, look at me go.
Bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.bored.
And lonely.
Someone take me somewhere.

Is it weird that when I say 'someone' I'm really only thinking about one person?

Ja Ho

I'm not saying it was unexpected.
But still, HELLO.
This is exciting.

I love how I'm an unintentional flirt.
It's all like a reflex to me now.
I can sit on a bus, look at a guy, and suddenly he comes over.
So what if it's a habit that I lick my lips and flick my hair.
Bite my bottom lip and look at my feet.
Swing my hip this way and twist a lock of hair around my little finger.
I do it cuz it's fun.
I don't mean to.
To be honest, I do find it ammusing that I can't seem to stop.
And that it does actually get me the ones that I want.

"If I want you, I'll get you."

Yeah, it works about 110% of the time.
My only problem right now, would be KEEPING the ones that I get.

Maybe it's due to my lack of shame.
Or conscience.
Or that it does actually take a lot to embarass me.
But flirting is what I do.
It's the same with my fashion sense.
Seems like these days the only look I can ever actually pull off is the slutty one.
In the words of Kristy.
"I think I'd be more confused if you DIDN'T dress like a slut."

What can I say?
......nothing actually.
Witty remarks aren't my fortè at night.
So's ya face!

The world these days.
You see little girls dressed like me so often now it's no longer strange.
I mean, yeah, they're not old enough to comprehend the meaning of body image.
To them, well, they're just trying to look like Hannah Montana.
But they're setting themselves up for years of issues.
Seriously, you'd think parents just didn't care anymore.

But still, these kids are younger than my niece.
You gotta stop this while they're young.
I was going to refer to how 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks'
But that's a little derogatory.

I guess, it's more an insecurity than anything.
Like how you'll dress up to emphasize a certain physical feature about you that you love.
But if there isn't anything about your body that you love, how do you plan on ever feeling good?
What do you emphasize? Your courage, confidence, personality? Please.
You hate your body, that's pretty much where it ends.
No confidence, you change your personality constantly to try draw attention away from who you really are.
And thus, you have the people who dress like me.
Hide the fact that you have no confidence and hate your personality.
Hide the fact that you hate your body.
As long as people think you're alright, you will be, right?

Innocent little children

'We weren't doing anything, I swear."

*hoists up bra strap*


I could go for some milo right now.
Yep yep, I have a craving like you wouldn't believe.
This is the part where you go, "wow, this chick really likes her milo."
And back away slowly.

But I wants it so bad.
GAH

Retrace the steps we took

I love how songs can jolt memories.
I'll be sitting there listening to music, and just kinda black out into my own land inside my head.
My eyes drift to the side and you're like "oh, there she goes again."


Hrumpf. I hate doctors surgery's.
I don't wanna touch anything.... I feel so icky.
It took all my will-power just to sit down on the chair.
And even then, a guy sat next to me looking disgusting, and I edged away.
*throws up*

You set my soul alight.

I guess you could say I'm jealous.
Lonely, envious, annoyed, hypocritical even.

Boy I really can pick 'em.
It's just, I never seem to be able to keep them.
Laziness maybe?
I don't know why, but there's some point where I just give up.

But this time is different.
You stole her.

Shindig

"Yeah, cuz if a guy was tryin to rape us, he'd knock first."

"The kids aren't missing, BUT THEIR HEADS ARE!"

"I just poked myself in the eye with the couch."

"I think I'm gonna have a food baby."
"Yeah, your boobs reflect that Maddie."

"Those clothes are hot, but they'd look better off him."

talk about awkward

Training his little sister.


She's cool though, I like her.
I like being able to talk to someone easily like that.

Now I'm sleepy.
But I can't sleep.
I'm excited for bra shopping tomorrow.
Weeeeeeeeeee.

KRISTYLOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCH!!!

Have a great one!
We all love you!