Contradictions

I lied.
I told you I would never hurt you.
But I did just that, didn't I?

All the promises I made to you, the nights I spent helping you. It was all a lie.
But even though you might never want to trust me again, I'll keep trying.
You probably won't believe me, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to build up our friendship again.
I love you and I'm not letting you go.

I didn't always lie to you though, like you may think.

I meant it when I said that you were amazing, that I really care about you, that I only flirt with you. :-P

I was speaking the truth when I told you that I couldn't find one single thing I didn't like about you. And I challenge anyone to find something.

You said you forgive me, and I'm hoping you do.

I know I messed up. But I'm not leaving it like that.

I will redeem myself.

I didn't expect this to happen. Neither did you. Aye?
But it did.
And guess what, just when things were getting good, I fucked it up.
I guess, in a sense, this has made us closer.
But will it ever make things easier?

I'm trying, I really, really am.

It's funny.

Even as I talk about all of this. And I know in my heart what needs to be done, what I want to do.

I know, that, it never can.

What my heart wants and what is right are two completely different things.

And fuck me, I always have to do what's right by everyone.

I told you that. I don't know if your reaction was serious or not.

I can never tell.

I guess, there's no point dwelling, aye?

Time to move on.

Which is what I'm doing.

But.... Something tells me that you aren't too happy about that.

That kills me.

This whole fucking mess is killing me.

But it's what's right.