I think I'm sorry.

I keep writing you letters, I don’t know why.

I don’t know why I can’t just tell you these things, why I have to type them out before you can read them. Before you can know.

And I certainly don’t know why I feel the need to post them on here.

Eh.

I’m sorry.

I know that things have changed between us because of what happened.

And I know there are things that you now keep from me because of that.

I don’t need to know those things if you don't want me to.

I guess, I don’t want to let what happened draw us apart.

I’ve been trying so hard not to bring it up, and to keep talking normally.

You’re not helping me.

I don’t know why I’m saying sorry.

I’ve done nothing wrong.

For a week, I’ve strained to keep you close, and you’ve pulled away.

We fight constantly, and I’m always the one apologizing.

I have no reason to apologize. You’re the one that says these things to me.

You're the one that somehow manages to force tears down my cheeks when no one else can.

I try everything to keep you happy, but nothing I do is good enough now, is it?

You used to put me above the others, tell me things you wouldn’t tell them.

Fight with everyone, confide in me.

Now look at the change.

Can you see it as clearly as I can?

You always fight with me, over the smallest things.

Then I apologize.

You put others ahead of me now, even when I say that I need you, you say that you’re too busy.

Then I apologize.

You constantly question everything I say, looking for faults in my stories, though I’m only trying to help.

Then I apologize.

I guess that’s why I’m saying sorry.

I’m sorry I’m not fucking good enough for you anymore.

I’m sorry that I try to help you.

I’m sorry if I text you sometimes when you don’t feel like talking.

I’m sorry that they’re more important to you than me these days.

I’m sorry I like to make sure that you’re alright.

I’m sorry if I cry because you cry.

I’m sorry that I tell you things I wouldn’t tell many other people.

I’m sorry that I don’t say ‘sorry’ enough.

I’m sorry that I care when no one else does.

I’m sorry because apparently this whole thing is my fault.

I’m sorry I can’t read your mind.

I’m sorry that I try everything to keep my emotions hidden so I don’t hurt you.

I’m sorry I’m not as great as them.

I’m sorry I want things that you don’t want.

I’m sorry if I sometimes don’t sound as enthusiastic about your dates as you do.

I’m sorry that whatever emotion you feel, I feel too.

I’m sorry that I let you get to me.

I’m sorry if I care what you think.

I’m sorry that I listen to you over others.

I’m sorry that I rank you above a lot of other people in my life.

I’m sorry if you can’t see that.

I’m sorry if I call too much.

I'm sorry if I text too much.

I'm sorry if I visit too much.

I’m sorry if I care too much.

I’m sorry because you don’t care.

I'm sorry because I believed you when you said that you did.

I'm sorry that I didn't see this coming.

I'm sorry that no matter how hard I try, I will always feel the same.

And I’m sorry I ever fucking wasted my time with you.