Hello you.

Firstly, I'd like to say thankyou.

Not one of those cheap thankyou's that get tossed around a little too often these days.

Not just a 'thanks'.

But a proper, written from the heart, thankyou.

I'm known as a slut.

I know I am.

Someone who just 'gives it away'. Yeah, those are the words that I've heard.

I remember one night, we were fighting. You were telling me that I have no morals, and I just 'like a good fuck'.

Ouch.

I also remember the way that made me feel.

People say that to me all the time these days. Seriously, to my face.

And you know what? I don't care.

I brush it off.

Then you say it, and suddenly I'm crying.

Probably because I don't want you thinking that.

I remember after you said that, choking on my tears so that you wouldn't hear them. I hung up.

I remember having to wait an hour before I got the wording on my text just perfect.

And I remember saying this.

I don't know what makes you so special. Why I couldn't seem to stop crying after you said that.

I've never taken it so personally before. I joke about it, just like everyone else does behind my back.

I think it's because I'm afraid of losing you.

I think, deep down I know that even though some of my friends may even say these things to me, they will always be there. They won't leave.

And I think that I'm scared you will.

I'm scared that I might not fall into your standards.

But what I need to say to you right now, is this.

I know you think I'm a slut, and I know you think that I can't control myself.

But you're wrong.

Do you think that if I had no control, I'd be home right now?

They always ask me to come see them, every day, every night. They ask if they can come over, every day, every night.

And every day, every night, I say that same thing to them. No.

And yet, you know that if you needed to see me, I'd be there.

One night, you said you were in a shit mood, and needed to talk to someone.

Within half an hour, I had climbed out of my window, caught a cab to your house, and turned up at your back door. At midnight.

I stayed with you until 5am, making sure you were ok.

Then snuck back out, caught a cab to the end of my street, and ran barefoot up my hill, in the rain.

And then you think you have the right to say that I don't care about you. And that I would ditch you for one of my 'boy toys'.

What the hell made you think you have that right?

I actually do care what you think. And if you don't like something, I change it.

But now I'm not so sure.

It took guts to send you that message.

One, because I didn't know how you would respond to it.

I was afraid that you would be angry, and that you really would stop talking to me.

I was scared that I'd said too much.

Two, because I really care what you think. I always have.

Three, because you made me see myself for who I truely am.

Nobody.

But still, I write you this letter to say thankyou.

Why?

Because I love you.

Because I've never been able to talk so easily to someone in such a short amount of time.

Never have I actually wanted to keep talking on the phone for so long in one night.

With you, there's always something to talk about.

Always a reason to laugh, smile, giggle, cry, etc.

Always something new and interesting.

When we talk, I forget about everything. To the point where my dear mother has to storm into my room and peel the phone out of my fingers after 4 hours.

I've never cared so little that my phone bill is around the $500 mark.

And I never thought I would thank someone for that.

In 3 months, you have changed me. How I think, how I act.

My perspective on life is happier, brighter.

Because I know you'll always be there.

There are few people in my life who I can honestly say have ever made me feel so wanted.

Ever made me so happy.

And I can honestly, from the bottom of my heart, say that you are one of them.

I love you with every fibre of my being.

And I know now, that nothing about my past will change how you see me.

I'm sorry for when we fight.

Because I know you only look out for me.

Some people, they use me.

I'm just someone that they can 'unload' their problems on.

Do you have any idea how hard that can be?

To have everyone constantly telling you stories, asking advice, talking about how much they hate life.

And I try to help. I'd like to think I do a good job.

But afterwards, what happens to me?

I become a nobody again.

They only talk to me when they have a problem, never when they're happy.

And then I'm left feeling shitty, bombarded with issues. While they go off and be happy with their more important friends.

Are they ever there for me?

When I have a problem, who can I turn to?

In my life, there are about 3 people who are willing to listen to me.

And I love them to death.

You're one of them.

Thankyou for everything.

For the friend that you have been to me, even if I haven't been such a great one back.

Thankyou for caring so much when no one else does.

Thankyou for always making me smile.

Thankyou for sending me random messages for no reason other than to wish me a good day.

And thankyou for letting me know, you will never leave me.