I should've known.

I should've known I could never trust you. I don't know why I didn't realise it all before.

How could I be so stupid?
I'm so angry at myself.

Is this the first time you've broken my trust? Or are there other times? Times that I DIDN'T find out about.
I knew there was something about you that just didn't fit properly. I knew to always be careful around you. But still, I thought maybe I meant more to you than that. I thought maybe you'd treat me a little differently, a little better.
But no.
And that's why we're in this mess.
Because you fucked everything up.

How could you do this to me?
It was my biggest secret. The one thing that only a handful of people know about. I protect it with my life.
My biggest shame, my biggest embarassment, my biggest lie.
You knew all of that, you knew it all when I told you months ago about it. You knew I regretted it.
You knew I'd stopped.
You knew I hated myself.
How can you do this to me?

You told.

And of all the people.
You told her.

WHY?

You knew it would get out.
All weekend I've been wondering why they kept giving me funny looks, wondering why they weren't talking to me.
And I find out it's all because of you.
YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE!

How many others have you told?
What other lies have you spread?
Why are you trying to break me?

You know what's going to happen next.
It's going to spread, it'll spread fast. And then what?
I'm ruined. My life is over.
All because of you.

I knew I couldn't trust you. I've been pulling away. Clearly, I didn't realise that soon enough.
What did I do to piss you off so bad that you had to go and do this?
Or was it just that you wanted some more attention?
You like the gossip.

All I wanted to know was why.
But when I asked, you got defensive.
I told you not to deny it. I know it was you. But you still tried.
And you only dug yourself a deeper hole. Because all you did was convince me that you don't care about me at all. You were just trying to cover your own ass.
You even threatened me.
Who do you think you are??
I never accused you of anything, all I did was ask. I was willing to believe whatever you told me. Believe that it wasn't you.
But you fucked that up.
You only convinced me otherwise.

I've never done anything to you. Only ever been here for you, been the friend that you wanted me to be.

You tried to turn it back on me last night. Like I was the one that had hurt you.
I'm sorry.
HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK?

Thanks to you, I can never go back there, and look at them all the same way.
I can never talk to them all knowing that they all know.
I can never look at you again without wanting to scream.

Some big sister you turned out to be.
Thanks BABE.

And you. You aren't any better.
I turned to you for help last night, while I was being yelled at, threatened, while I had people constantly in my face, "is it true? is it true??"
And what did you do?
You found a way to make everything my fault as well.
Everyone always does.

Then what?
You didn't know why I started ignoring you?
Why I wasn't answering your calls?
Right... You'd done nothing wrong.
I mean, all you did was blame me for getting myself into this mess. You didn't want to help me.

Well, whatever.
Fuck you both.

How about I just quit?
Then you'll never have to deal with me or my 'immature' shit ever again.
I swear, sometimes I wonder why I ever bothered with either of you.
I clearly don't mean a whole lot to you both. Why should you mean anything to me?

"Friendship over."
"WHAT FRIENDSHIP?"